My life as Jonah

Running
Desperate for an escape
Am I running from You or from myself?
Running
Unable to escape what must be
Unable to escape what is
I keep on blindly running

Waiting
To be cast overboard into the sea
Desperately clinging to my sinking ship
Waiting
For a whale to swallow me
For my choices to catch up with me
Waiting
Convinced of my self-made doom
Afraid to say Your name

Will I turn around and lift my hands in surrender?
Will I fall to my knees and seek forgiveness?
Or will I continue to run?
Continue to wait?
Continue to hide?

Wondering
How did I get here? 
this dark and desperate place
Wondering
Why do I always end up here?
This dark and desperate state
Wondering
When will I seek Your grace?
When will I seek Your face?

Will I turn around and lift my hands in surrender?
Will I fall to my knees and seek Your forgiveness?
Or will I continue to run?
Continue to wait?
Continue to wonder?
Continue to hide?

O free me from this wretched state
Break this heart of stone and make it beat again
For You.