The scary part

Kenny-CoasterMonsterShot

The scariest part of any roller coaster ride is that first long slow crawl to the top.   Click, Click, Click.  My heart is beating crazily.  Click, Click, Click.  Now I am at the point where all I see is sky. The tracks are gone!  The drop is not yet visible.  It is here that I find the most thrill.

It’s not the plunge down the incredibly steep drop, or the mind blowing blur as the car races through the loop-de-loops. It is that first slow crawl.  Oh, I scream as I whirl through the loops and scream more as we careen down the steep dips.  My stomach is in my mouth, it is a wonder I can scream.  But that moment at the top, just before the big drop is the best.

I think it is the anticipation of that moment when the car is balanced at the top and not yet descending,  that thrills me.  Just before I reach this point, I have had time to imagine all kinds of things as my car is slowly propelled upward to this point.  Time for the anticipation to marinate.  I don’t get that opportunity again in the ride.

And at the top of the hill, where all I can see is sky, I have a choice to make.  Will I lift my hands above my head, and embrace the plunge down the tracks?  Will I hang on tight for all I’m worth, and squeeze my eyes shut?

Life is like that.  We have moments when we can’t see the track ahead.  We know something big is coming, and we’ve rehearsed all the possible scenarios in our mind on the long climb to this point.  And we have a choice.  We can lift our hands above our heads and trust that all will be well. Or we can close our eyes and allow fear to rob us of joy.

Yes, there is joy in the scary times.  I’ve found it.  Sometimes I have to look hard and long, but I’ve found it and I know I will find it again.  Joy is easy to find in the pleasant times, but there is something different about joy found in suffering.

My little cart I ride around in this life, is heading up a steep climb upward.  click, click, click – another biopsy?  click, click, click – another round of tests.  And then at the very top, the ultimate prognosis.  Then a dizzying plunge into surgery and a myriad of treatments.  Will I raise my hands and find joy in the ride?  Or will I cower in fear?

The one thing I know about this ride I am on, is that God is with me.  He’s there in the cart.  He knows what lies ahead and He is not afraid.  He smiles at me and winks, and suddenly I am not afraid.  He’s got this.  He’s got me.  No matter what the ride ahead throws at me, I know my Father will turn them to good.

So I am putting up my hands, and trusting my Father.  We sing and laugh and enjoy each other as the cart I am in seems to be spinning out of control, but never is.  He won’t let it.

Blessings my friends,

Deb

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